In The Dark
by kagura77
Summary: SEQUEL TO AS WE FADE INTO THE NIGHT! James and Spock have been stronger than ever as they start out on their five year mission. But who's the strange girl on board who isn't using her real name and knows Khan? Rated M for graphic content.
1. Memories

**Hello all and welcome back! This is the sequel to As We Fade Into The Night, so if you have yet to read that one, you should or you will be confused. Thank you to all the fans who have stayed with me this long, I really appreciate it. Same as the last book, In The Dark will be going by a song each chapter. The song for the entire book is In The Dark by Flyleaf.**

**The song for this chapter is Memories by Within Temptation.**

**I do not own Star Trek or it's characters.**

**Without further ado, let the story begin!**

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><p>Chapter One - Memories<p>

"Keptin on zee bridge!" Chekov yelled as I stepped through the door and on to the ship. God it felt weird to be here again. But despite it all, I clenched my left hand, feeling the ring bite my skin comfortably as I nodded and smiled at him. Despite everything I was excited and feeling pretty good. I mean, five years in deep space, it's the mission I've been dreaming of!

I looked over at the Captain's chair and smiled, walking over to it.

"It's hard to get out of once you've had a taste, isn't that right Mr. Sulu?" I questioned as he grinned and stood from the chair, his hands behind his back.

"Captain does have a nice ring to it." He remarked, sounding as excited as I felt. "Chair's all yours, sir."

I smiled, walking over to the arm and pressing the button to call Scotty.

"Mr. Scott, how's our core?" The mention of the core had me feeling antsy but I sucked it up.

"Purring like a kitten, Captain. She's ready for a long journey." He replied.

"Excellent!" I hit the button again and turned to my best friend, running over and clapping his shoulders. "Come on Bones, it's going to be fun!"

"Five years in space, god help me." I heard him mutter as I took off. I approached his girlfriend with a smile and decided to welcome her to the crew.

"Dr. Marcus, I'm glad you could be part of the family." I said, shaking her hand.

"It's nice to have a family." She said sadly, though with a smile. I nodded to her before turning to my first officer, my lover, my Ashaya.

"Mr. Spock." I said formally.

"Captain." He responded, turning around to walk over and stand beside me.

"Where should we go?" I asked quietly, staring at the stars and desperately wanting to hold his hand. His want mirrored mine but we stayed professional, we were on duty after all.

"As a mission of this deration has never been attempted," He turned to me, his eyes unable to hold back his love as he smiled at me. "I defer to your good judgment, Captain."

I almost laughed at that, he never referred to my judgment as good before. I smiled fondly at him before he turned away to join Nyota at their stations. Taking a deep breath and looking out at the stars, I sat down in the Captain's chair.

"Mr. Sulu, take us out." I said, smiling. Five years… I can't wait.

"Aye Captain." He said, then the ship came to life with the purring of the engines and we were off, soaring past the stars.

I turned back to look at Spock and we shared a smile before I looked back to the front. I turned on the com and couldn't stop grinning as I addressed my crew.

"We have now departed on our five year journey, I really hope you didn't forget anything." There was some laughter amongst the crew, but I joked because a lot of people were worried. "We're going to be pretty sick of each other sooner or later, but please, no blood on the new interior. If there are any problems, report to me or first officer Spock and we'll take care of them. Kirk out."

"I love you." Spock said quietly next to me, making me smirk as I leaned on my hand.

"I figured I'd be the one to break first, but I see you have proved me wrong." I looked up at him and he smiled back. "I love you too."

My first alpha shift had just ended and we were on course for an unchartered planet that we were going to examine. There were no signs of civilized life, but plenty of plants and animals to examine and find. With a smile, I stretched out, removing my shirt and sighing as my muscles relaxed.

I heard the door to the bathroom close and turned around with a grin. Spock smiled softly, his hands clasped behind his back.

"We're off duty , please relax and make yourself comfortable. Was there a reason for this visit?" I asked, loving the way his lips twitched in amusement.

"Captain, it seems there was a slight problem I noticed during alpha shift." He reported deligently, taking a slow step forward.

"What would that be, and call me Jim for god's sake." I laughed slightly at that, not having to say that for a while now.

"Well, someone kept distracting me with thoughts of…. Sexual content during our shift. I believe he should be punished by myself directly." He smirked and my breath flew out of me when he suddenly sprang forward, throwing me to the bed before climbing atop of me, pinning my wrists above my head.

"But, Commander, we are aboard the Enterprise, is it not improper to mount your Captain?" I asked innocently, trying not to smile. Something glistened in his eyes and he leaned down slowly until he was breathing in my ear.

"We are off duty. In here, I'm _your_ captain." He growled. I gasped, my back arching as a moan slipped through my lips.

"Yes, understood. Spock, please, I need you. It was so hard not to be with you on the bridge." I groaned, leaning my cheek against him as I ground my erection against his.

"As you wish, T'hy'la." He said, lips meeting mine with unbridled lust. His hands released my wrists to run his nails down my chest, eliciting another loud moan from me as I wrapped my hands in his hair, flipping us over with my legs.

"Captain, permission to enter?" A voice through the comm at my door asked. I bit my lip as I got off Spock, who gracefully and quickly got up and went in to the bathroom.

"Enter." I said, trying to hold back my frustration.

The doors slid open and Uhura strutted in, her hair out of its ponytail and wearing a black t-shirt and red jeans. She walked straight over, plopping herself down on the bed beside me as the door closed.

"Make yourself at home." I sighed, rolling my eyes. She laughed, looking to her left.

"Spock, you can come out of the bathroom, I know you're in there." She said. The door opened and he stepped out formally, one eyebrow raised.

"How did you know I was in there?" He asked, walking calmly over the bed.

"There's claw marks on his chest." My face went bright red and I looked down, noticing four angry red marks that went down to the hem of my pants.

"Jesus Christ, Spock!" I yelled, looking at him with pure shock.

"As I recall, you were not complaining at the time." He muttered, climbing in to the bed and laying down behind us. I stared at him for a moment as Uhura laughed.

"Make yourself at home!" I said again, laughing as I threw up my hands.

"Nyota, was there a reason for this visit?" Spock said. I looked back at him to see him practically hugging the pillow, his eyes closed and looking completely relaxed.

"Actually, I was wondering if you might share what you saw in the crowd during your speech that made you pale and look completely freaked out." She said. Spock tensed completely and I swallowed heavily, turning back to look at her. I looked away, starting to play with the silver band on my ring finger.

_"Always and forever…. Captain."_

"I thought I saw Khan. He looked right at me and smiled before walking away. I was nervous and I was hallucinating." I replied, frowning.

"I saw him too." Spock said. I jolted, spinning to look at him. "But it could have been you projecting it through the bond."

"He's right Jim… I'm sorry, I never thought I'd say this, but I wish he were here." She said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks, I appreciate it Nyota." I said with a smile. I meant it, it meant a lot to me that she supported us.

"Anyways, I'm going to go see Scotty and let you continue." She said, smirking before getting up and stalking out. I shook my head, turning to look at Spock with a grin. He had his eyes closed and he was breathing deeply. I reached out and stroked his cheek lightly as he nuzzled my hand.

"Shall we continue in the morning, love?" I whispered, leaning down and kissing his cheek. He nodded against the pillow and I smiled. This right here, these little moments, were what I lived for.

"Hey kiddo." Bones said, sitting down beside me at the table. I nodded to him, smiling gently and taking a small bite of my food. I was tired from Alpha shift and was looking forward to a nice night of cuddling with Spock. But my stomach had decided that it needed food before I could go to bed.

"Heya Bones, what's up?" I asked.

"Well, I was cleaning out some stuff before we left and well, I didn't have a chance to give it to you, we've been so busy…." He trailed off, biting his lip.

"What is it?" I sighed, not liking the thought of this gift.

"Here, just, watch it. I'm sure it will make you smile." He said, sliding a usb key over to me.

"What's on it that's making you so fidgety?" I asked, glaring at him as I shoved it in my pocket. He stood up, giving me a crooked smile before patting my shoulder and turning away.

"Just watch it with Spock, okay?"

"God, Alpha shift is so long when I can't even kiss you." I complained, pouncing on top of him. He grumbled something, pulling me under the blankets. Yes, I am aware that he was asleep, but I missed him a lot.

"Take your uniform off and go to sleep." He grumbled.

"We can't yet. Bones gave me a drive with something on it that we apparently have to watch." I said, kissing his nose. He opened one eye before sighing and sitting up.

"Alright, hand it over." I dug it out of my pocket and he got up, revealing his naked butt.

"Damnit, maybe we can have some fun first." I said, grabbing his wrist. He smirked at me, but removed his wrist from my hand and went over to the comm, plugging in the usb key.

The wall lit up and he pressed play and suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

_I pointed at the camera, my face straight but my eyes laughing._

_ "No!" I yelled._

_ "Too late, I'm already recording." Bones said, laughing at me as I backed away from Spock and Khan. _

_ "Oh, good idea!" Scotty's accented voice called. There was a sound of them high fiving as I glared at the two of them._

_ "Thanks for the support guys!" I yelled, backing further away. Suddenly they lunged at me and I tried to get away but they skillfully grabbed on to me. Bones and Scotty were laughing as they followed me struggling in to the pool._

_"Bet you he pretends to be drowning and they fall for it." Bones said._

_"Twenty bucks says they aren't that gullible." Scotty replied. I heard Uhura laugh and I looked over to her._

Oh my god, this was when… This was the day that we officially…

_"Isn't anyone going to fucking help me?" I yelled, my struggling coming to an end. There was a giant splash as they tossed me in and then looked over the edge. _

_ "Come on, don't let me down guys." Bones said quietly. _

_ "He's faking it! It's James Kirk, what do you expect?" Uhura yelled. The camera jerked slightly while Scotty laughed._

_ "Fuck, I'm going to get him, he might have hit his head." Khan said, biting his lip. Spock nodded and they both jumped in. I emerged, laughing while Scotty groaned._

_ "I warned you!" Uhura yelled, laughing. Spock and Khan both looked astonished while they treaded water._

_ "Damn rat bastards, why do you have to be so gullible?" Scotty groaned. There was some rustling as I laughed and a twenty dollar bill briefly came in to view. _

"Spock." I whispered as the video paused.

"Jim, there's more." He said quietly. "You're crying."

I quickly rubbed at my cheeks, laughing and sniffling.

"That seems like forever ago." I whispered, not sure if I could raise my voice any higher. Spock sighed, grabbing the remote and sliding in to the bed with me.

"If you can't handle it, let me know and I'll turn it off." He said, kissing me gently before wrapping me in his arms.

"You're crying too, hun." I said, brushing away one of his tears. He smiled gently and kissed my temple.

"I'm fine, it's just… I miss him. Illogical as that sounds."

"Nah, that sounds perfectly logical to me." I said, laughing and cuddling up to him. "I miss him too."

_"Hey I'm stepping out to um, check on something." Bones said, pushing the camera a little so it was angled towards where I was sitting in Khan's trench coat and he was standing beside me. _

_ "Yeah, okay." I grumbled. I heard a door click and looked straight in to the camera. "You think he set it on a timer or something? He was fiddling with it entirely too much." _

_ "I doubt he has the intelligence enough to set something like that up." Khan said, sitting down beside me._

_ "Hey, be nice to him." I said, glaring at him as he wrapped his arms around me._

"Guess we were wrong, huh." I said, laughing when Spock squeezed me closer to him.

_"Now, do we need to discuss this again?" He said with a sigh, kissing my neck. I shoved him off of me and stood up._

_ "I'm going and that is final." I growled._

_ "YOU ARE NOT GOING!" Khan yelled._

_ "I am NOT staying here, you can't make me." I screamed back, silenced by his lips roughly crashing down on mine. I held him close, letting him kiss me until his lips slowed and became soft. Finally, he pulled away, resting his forehead on mine._

_ "I can't lose you." He whispered. I placed my hand on his cheek with a sigh._

_ "And I can't lose you."_

_ "You never will." He said, pulling me in to his arms more tightly. "Always and forever…. Captain."_

_ "Oh, don't start with that again!" I laughed, shoving him off of me and sighing._

_ "What's on your mind? Aside from the usual Spock." Khan said, grabbing my hand and rubbing his thumb along it. _

_ "I know it takes a lot to kill you but… I still can't help but be worried that you'll die. I only just figured this out, I don't know if I could stand it." I whispered, leaning on him._

_ "Hush, you'll never have to find out, love." _

"Guess we were really wrong." I muttered, nuzzling in to Spock's neck.

"I think that's enough for tonight." He said, turning it off and putting the remote on the end table. He tugged my shirt off, immediately starting on my pants.

"Hunnie, I'm exhausted, how bout in the morning?" I grumbled, kicking my boxers off and cuddling up to him. He started chuckling, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek.

"I love how you immediately jump to sex, darling." He said, rolling his eyes. It was sort of weird hearing him use pet names. I had used them on him, but it took him a while to say anything of the sort. But it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"Well, I love you." I muttered, poking his nose.

"I love you too, go to sleep. We have another long shift tomorrow."

I watched the copy I had found on Dr. McCoy's computer and copied over to my own portable drive. Seeing Khan laugh, smile, get concerned over the Captain was just… It was almost too much to take in.

"Please stop…" A little voice whispered to me. I shook it off, laughing quietly and watching as Khan and the Captain kissed.

"Oh, please. Khan is missing and the last person to see him was the Captain. You want to find him or not." I said, retrieving something from my pocket.

"Of course I do, you know that… But you stole these files…" The small voice said.

"That doesn't matter you coward." I growled. "What matters is getting enough information to confront the great James T. Kirk."

"Okay…" I smiled, flipping open the silver blade and stroking the cool metal.

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><p><strong>Alright, first chapter finished! Thank you for reading, I really hope you enjoy, please review and tell me what you think :D!<strong>


	2. Have We Lost

**First of all I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed! And thank you for being so patient with me, I promise I will post the next chapter a lot sooner!**

**The song for this chapter is Have We Lost by Flyleaf!**

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><p>"Morning." I said, cuddling up to Spock. His body felt stiff and cold and I blinked my eyes open, feeling liquid on my fingers.<p>

"Love?" I whispered, looking up. I came face to face with Khan's dead body and screamed, throwing myself off the bed.

"James! James, wake up! It's only a dream!" Spock yelled, shaking me. I was hyperventilating, clinging to his arms as I stared at him with wide eyes.

"I thought… It was so real…" I whispered.

"It was just a dream, T'hy'la, you'll be alright." He kissed me gently and I relaxed with a sigh.

"Guess it's time to get ready and prepare for Alpha shift." I said, standing up and bringing Spock with me.

"I suppose. What about that promise you made last night." He said, biting my neck.

"Well, I didn't really _promise_ but if you want, we could have a shower together." I said, chuckling and kissing him. I bit his lip gently and he groaned, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"I like that idea." He whispered.

My comm went off and I groaned, answering it promptly.

"Captain, I'm getting an unusual distress signal." Uhura said.

"Lieutenant, why are you on duty," I looked at my watch briefly. "Two hours before duty."

"I was awake and bored, are you coming or what Captain?" She asked. I groaned, but told her I'd be down in a minute before kissing Spock once more.

"I'll see you in two hours, I love you." I whispered, nuzzling him.

"Nonsense. If you are starting duty early, than as your first officer I shall do the same." I smiled graciously at him before quickly getting dressed.

"Keptin on zee bridge!" Chekov exclaimed as I entered the room, staring at the usual crew.

"Did someone switch my watch? Why is everyone on duty early?" I asked, going over and sitting down in my chair as Spock took his place at his station.

"Captain, some of us like to eat breakfast in the morning instead of," Sulu looked over at Spock discreetly and smiled. "Sleep in."

"Alright Uhura, what's this transmission?" I growled, running my hand through my hair with exasperation. I'm pretty sure the entire crew knew about Spock and I by now, but we still liked to keep it professional.

"Playing the transmission now, Captain." She hit a button and static filled the air briefly before the transmission started.

"_…stranded…Enterprise…help me…Captain…"_ It cut out and I had to hold my breath as it started over again, the same jumble of words, ending with my title in that familiar, but unplacable voice.

"Do we have a location?" I asked.

"Sir, we have located the distress call about three days away in the general direction that we are headed." Sulu responded, typing on his console.

"Alright, max warp , raise the shields just before reentering, we don't know what stranded their ship or if it's a trap. They did specifically ask for us" I commanded.

"Yes Captain."

"Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go eat breakfast."

"I believe I will join you Captain."

There were snickers as we left, boarding the pod that would take us to the appropriate floor. Before I could even say a word, I was against the wall, his lips on mine as I moaned, holding him to me.

"Spock, someone could come in, we _can't_!" I protested, trying hard to hold my own.

"How is it that, for once, you are making the logical decision?" He asked, pulling away and giving me a quick peck on the cheek. He stood up straight as the doors opened, an ensign boarding with us. She was small, I'm guessing maybe five foot two, with vibrant red hair, that didn't look like it was natural, falling straight down to her waist. She was wearing a white lab coat and holding a clipboard tightly to her… wow… chest. Spock elbowed me discreetly and I blushed when he smirked at me. She turned to look over at me and I had to immediately look away from her red eyes. Not human, definitely not human!

"Everyone knows you two are dating, it's really not much of a secret." She said, smirking at us. Spock's cheeks tinted light green while I tried not to gawk at her.

"And who are you, Ensign?" I asked in disbelief.

"Ashter Farris, Captain." She responded, holding out her hand. I eyed her warily while I shook it. "I work in-."

"The med lab, yeah, I've seen you with Bones." She made a scrunched up face before she clicked in to who I meant. She looked away and her smirk grew, reminding me of something, but not completely sure what.

"I also know it was you two who released Khan." She said. We froze, looking at each other for a split second before the doors opened and I chased her out of the elevator pod.

"And how would you know this?" I growled, resisting the urge to haul her ass off of my ship.

"Because I know things, Captain." She growled back, sneering at me. "What did he say to you to get you to release him? What did he promise you? I don't see him here now, perhaps he's plotting how to kill you for good." I flinched and then grabbed her by the arm.

"He's not here now because he died protecting me and saving Spock." I had to consciously keep myself from yelling the words, the fury building within me. Her face went white and it almost looked like she was going to puke.

"No, that's not possible. He can't die." She whispered, backing to the wall and starting to hyperventilate.

"Report to med bay and if you say anything about this to anyone, or say anything bad about Khan again I will get to beam you back down to Earth." I said, walking away as she slid down the wall.

"Captain, I looked up the name Ashter Farris and I believe she is using a false last name. There is no record of her in the systems." I took a deep breath and forced some eggs in to my mouth. It had been two days and we hadn't received another transmission. But what that ensign said weighed heavily on me and I felt so bad for what I had said in return.

"Leave her be Spock…" I whispered, feeling like a complete asshole. "Did you see her face when I told her he was dead?"

"Yes, but she could be playing us." He responded, lightly touching my arm. I grabbed hold of his hand and clenched my eyes shut.

"I've seen that look before Spock, you can't fake that look." I whispered.

"I want to know how she got aboard this ship and has been aboard for three point one days with false credentials." He muttered, sounding sullen, like the fact that she got here was an insult to his capabilities.

"That's the second one to get past you Spock!" I said, grinning and clapping his shoulders. It was hard to believe we had been flying for so long, but I knew that eventually it would seem like nothing. We hadn't had any problems yet, people seemed to be getting along just fine.

"Indeed." He grumbled.

"Jim, can you come down here for a second please?" Bones said. God I hated when he used the emergency line.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." I responded, turning the damn thing off.

"You go, I'll take care of cleaning up." Spock said, looking around before kissing my cheek. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Leave. Her. Alone." I said, seeing right through him. "That's an order!"

"Yes Captain." He said, rolling his eyes at me.

"What did you need, Bones?" I asked, sighing as I came through the med bay doors. I hated it in here, most of the time it meant I was hurt and that meant getting a hypo. I really fucking hate hypos.

"Would you mind talking to one of the ensigns?" He said, focused on some paper work. Great, I was hoping I could go one day without there being a problem.

"What's wrong? What did the ensign do?" I groaned. He looked up from his paper work in confusion.

"Nothings wrong, she asked to speak to you, so I got a hold of you. I know you aren't on duty yet so I figured it wouldn't be too much of a problem." He said, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, which one?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. I had a feeling I already knew when I saw Ensign Farris in one of the offices, working away on something.

"Red hair, back in that office." He said absently. I clapped him on the shoulder, going in to the room, albeit, a bit nervously.

"What can I help you with, ensign?" I asked, trying to be professional, even though she really wasn't earlier.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said. I feel like I attacked you, and that was wrong. I was hoping maybe we could have lunch together and talk about it?" She said softly, biting her lip and not looking me in the eyes.

"Yeah, um, sure, I just have to know. How do you know Khan?" That got her attention. Her wide, almost innocent looking, red eyes locked on mine and her lip popped out from between her teeth.

"I did a lot of reading." She said, looking away.

"Lie to me and the deal is off Ms. Farris. Tell me the truth! There's no way you would react the way you did when you found out he's dead if you only read about him."

"Please! You wouldn't understand!" She said, turning around. Her shoulders started shaking as she grabbed a file from the shelf.

"Try me. I think I can understand just about anything now." I muttered.

"Listen, I'll explain later, I need to get to work and if you don't leave, you'll be late." She said. Her voice seemed different, more stable and not childlike anymore.

"Alright, but I want answers at lunch." I said, storming out of the med bay.

"Any news on that distress call?" I asked, looking back at Uhura.

"Negative, there has been no contact since." She responded, busily looking at her screens.

"Mr. Sulu, how long until we reach the ship?"

"Still around a day sir, it seems the ship is drifting. If we don't get there soon, I'm not sure we're going to be saving anyone." He said, looking back at me with worry.

I collapsed in my chair, putting my face in my hand. Fuck, we're at top warp, how the hell can we get there any sooner.

"Scotty, tell me you have an idea to make us go faster!" I said, calling down to him.

"Aye Captain, if we go any faster, the old girl won't like it." He said. "I'm sorry Captain."

"It's alright, thanks anyways." I said.

"Oi! Perhaps a shuttle would be faster and the ship can follow behind sir!" Scotty said.

"You're brilliant! Have one prepped and ready to go!" I said, hanging up. "Sulu, when the shuttle is ready, drop us out of warp and then you have the con. Spock, Uhura, you're with me."

"Shall I go pack the necessary provisions, Captain?" Spock asked. I'm honestly surprised that he didn't jump in before hand.

"Alright, we'll meet you there." I said. We slowly dropped out of warp and I stood up, squeezing Sulu's shoulder. "Easy on my ship."

"Yes Captain." He said with a grin. I smiled back turning around and following Uhura out the door and in to the pod.

"Captain?" She said softly.

"Yes?" I said, turning to her.

"Did the distress call…. Sound familiar to you?" She said, chewing her lip.

"Yeah, the voice did, but I really can't place it."

"Could it be Khan?" She asked suddenly. I froze, my hands behind my back.

"Khan is dead, Nyota." I whispered. "There's no way it's him, we all watched him die. He didn't heal."

"But-."

"Nyota, please!" I begged, grabbing her shoulders gently as tears filled my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have suggested it." She whispered, placing a hand on mine.

"It's alright, I'm sorry, I'm still a little sensitive about it."

The doors swished open and Farris stepped on. I pulled away from Uhura, clearing my throat.

"I won't make our lunch today, I'm heading off in the shuttle to the ship that sent a distress call." I said. I felt Uhura's eyes on me and knew I'd have to explain later.

"I know. Dr. McCoy heard from Dr. Scott and he sent me to tell you that he knows you too well and you aren't leaving without a medical ensign going with you." She looked over at me pointedly. "Hense why _I _am here."

"Awe, c'mon Bones! I'm not that bad!"

"Yes you are." Uhura said, stepping out ahead of me.

"Does Spock know? Cause he really doesn't like you." I said. "Seriously, he has a personal vendetta against you."

"I do now, Captain." Spock said tensely, the feeling of extreme annoyance echoing through the bond.

"Don't blame me, blame Bones." I said, giving him a pointed look. He sighed, going in to the shuttle with me and Farris behind him.

"Captain, may I suggest that I fly the shuttle." Spock said as I went for the driver's seat.

"And why would you suggest that?" I asked. Uhura spun in her chair, glaring at me.

"Last time you flew the shuttle, you flew us between two buildings. SIDEWAYS!" She yelled.

"We fat!" I yelled back.

"If you fat, then that's not too big a deal." Farris said, shrugging.

_May I show her?_

_Go ahead, if you absolutely must! I'll even transfer my memory over for you!_

"May I?" He asked, raising his hand so that it was hovering by her meld points.

"Um, sure." She said cautiously.

_We were being fired at and I saw a slim opening between two buildings. It was our only shot._

_ "Alright, there, we can lose them there!" I yelled, grasping at straws._

_ "You are suggesting that we utilize the passage between the approaching structures. This ship will not fit." Spock said. Always sounding so damn calm._

_ "We'll fit." I argued. _

_ "Captain, we will not fit!" He said back. If I didn't know better, I would swear he was losing his calm._

_ "We'll fit! We'll fit!" I yelled, turning the ship sharply. I groaned at the strain as we headed between the buildings. Uhura cried out but I couldn't turn to make sure she was alright. We bumped the side a couple times before flying out the other end, my body filled with relief. _

_ "I told you we'd fit." I said to Spock, my eyes still wide as I hyperventilated slightly._

_ "I'm not sure that qualifies…" He responded. _

She pulled away from Spock with a look of horror on her face. She met my eyes and backed away.

"He flies!" She yelled, pointing at Spock. He turned to me with a smirk and I threw my hands up.

"That's really too bad, I was starting to like you." I said to the ensign while Uhura laughed and got settled. "Oh please, name one accident I've been in!"

"Shortly after we got in to a fight Captain. You flipped your car. I had to pull you out the window, go in to your mind, and pull you out." Spock said, a slight twitch in his eye.

"Fine, fine, you fly. But I fly on the way back." I said.

"No." They all said at once. I glared, sitting myself down with a pout.

"You all suck."

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><p><strong>I feel you kirk 3 Thank you all for reading, I hoped you enjoyed the chapter, and please leave a review!<strong>


	3. Ships In The Night

**Hey everyone, I would like to thank A.L. Cullen and allyct160 for their reviews! Reviews always make my day when I check my email! **

**Another thank you to Biku-sensei-sez-meow for the review on As We Fade Into The Night, meow to you too! Hope you like the sequel so far!**

**Anyways, the song for this chapter is Ships In The Night by Mat Kearney. Enjoy!**

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><p>"Sir, we're picking up another transmission!" Uhura called. I ran out from the back of the shuttle where I was prepping phasers.<p>

"Play it." I ordered, leaning over her. Farris joined me and we looked at each other tensely.

_Trap…. It's a…. Don't come!_

The voice was frantic, and it cut out completely with the sound of a phaser. Farris threw herself back, starting to hyperventilate again.

"We have a tough decision to make." I said, standing up and addressing them. "We can notify Enterprise and turn around or we can go and save him… whoever him is."

"Captain, with all due respect…" Her voice was tiny, then her eyes hardened and it was like she was a different person. "No matter the decision, I'm going to that shuttle."

"Ms. Pen, why do think you need to go?" Spock said, only taking his eyes off the controls for a second.

"Because as a medical student, I can't just leave whoever it is there without any sort of help." She said, swallowing tightly. I studied her face for a moment before crossing my arms.

"While I am sure that is part of the reason, you're leaving something out. Stop lying to your Captain and tell me the truth." I said, starting to feel a little angry again.

"Sir, I don't know how to say it." She said, chewing her lip and turning away. I gently grabbed her arm and she froze tensing completely.

"Try me." I growled.

"Captain, we are nearing the ship. The scanners show that it is small, a shuttle perhaps and… Captain, it's approaching us fast!" Uhura said, standing up and looking at me with worry.

"Spock, prepare for evasive maneuvers, Uhura, buckle down, you too Farris." I stopped as they started getting to work and turned to where Farris was suddenly frozen, staring at Spock.

"Why did you call me Pen?" She said, her eyes wide and deer like.

"Because I know you forged your way aboard this ship." He stated. "Now is not the time, tell us why you need to-." She cut him off with a disgruntled cry throwing her arms in the air, her breathing increasing again.

"Ashter-."

"It's my brother!" She said, huffing. "He's making the transmissions, I'd know his voice anywhere." She gave me a pointed look and I scrunched up my face.

"Captain, ship is in sight, moving fast, but appearing damaged." Spock said. I peered out the window in front of him and took a deep breath.

"Uhura, hail them." I said quietly.

"Yes Captain." She said.

"Ship has slowed down and stopped in front of us, sir." Spock said, looking back to me for orders.

"Hold position until we contact them."

"What are you doing, I told you it was a trap, why did you come?" A distorted voice said through the speakers. I grabbed the comm and sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"The transmissions were cutting out greatly, we could barely make it out. Besides, we'd never leave someone to die. Are you capable of following or boarding the shuttle?" I asked.

"Captain, as we do not know who it is, I suggest we do not let him board until we have identification."

"James, always so trusting, don't be an idiot and go back to the Enterprise." The distorted voice said. Something was nagging me about the way he seemed to know me.

"Do I know you?" I said quietly. Ash was watching me closely, her eyes sad.

"Only too well." There was a little static and then a sigh. "Go, Captain. It's for the best."

"No it isn't, we have your sister aboard the shuttle, she recognized your voice." I said, smiling at Ash. Her eyes went wide and she gulped, making my smile vanish.

"Ash is aboard that shuttle?" The voice, even distorted, turned dangerous.

"Yes." I said.

"Captain, he's preparing to move." Uhura warned.

"It appears I have no more choice. If she is on board that shuttle, then I need to go with you. Permission to beam aboard?" He asked. I looked at Spock, who was looking at Ash with curiosity. His eyes met mine and he nodded once.

"Granted." I said, hanging up the Comm and waiting.

"You shouldn't have told him I was here. It was supposed to be a surprise." Ash growled, her eyes dangerous. She undid her seat belt, standing up with a glint in her eye, her hand going in to her pocket.

"Ash, sit down." I ordered. I could hear the person beaming aboard, but I felt like the threat was in front of me.

"My name isn't Ash." She growled. "It's Pen."

"It wasn't your last name. It was your first." Spock said behind me before gasping. I looked at the scalpel in her hand before meeting her eyes.

"You're a split personality." I said. She laughed, looking behind my shoulder for a moment before tilting her head and lunging forward.

I was yanked backwards, a body going in front of me, his arms wrapped around me. I stared in shock. She just attacked me and her brother jumped in front and… is hugging me…

He grunted and I heard a squeak.

"No, no, no, I'm sorry, god I am so sorry, I didn't mean to. I wouldn't hurt them brother I swear." Ash, Pen, whoever, said.

"I know you wouldn't Ash, but you can't control Pen." A deep voice rumbled. My body completely tensed up and I wanted, no, needed to back up and look at him, but I was frozen.

"Release him." Spock said quietly. There was silence before the arms tightened around me.

"No." He muttered.

"Let go of me." I managed to say. He tensed before sighing and letting me go. I backed up, Spock's hand finding my shoulder, sending me strength through the bond.

I stared at the long sleeved black shirt, the black hair, the chiseled jaw, a scalpel sticking out of his shoulder.

"You son of a bitch." I choked out. He blinked, frowning and looking behind his shoulder before calmly removing the blade.

"James-." I cut him off, lunging forward and punching him hard enough that he went down and once again I heard bones crack. But I didn't stop, I went down with him, hitting over and over until Spock grabbed me and hauled me to my feet.

"No! He lied, he lied to us Spock." I yelled, trying to fight his arms. Khan had a bloody lip and a few bruises forming, but his face remained calm as he sat up.

"It was for your own good."

"Oh, fuck off!" I yelled. "You faked your own death, destroyed us, and you think we are just going to be alright with that?"

"I have to agree with the Captain, Khan." Spock said, his voice guarded.

"Half a year." I whispered. "I still have nightmares of your death."

"I'm sorry." He muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looking away.

"Spock, take us back to Enterprise, Uhura hail Bones on a private channel, just tell him we need to get our guest in quietly with no one seeing them." I said.

"Why not tell him who is aboard?" Khan said, tilting his head. I looked at him in disgust before narrowing my eyes.

"Never admit to something illegal on an insecure channel." I muttered. "Ash, tend his wounds and make sure he's not deathly injured."

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. But I didn't want to listen to it and I walked past him to the back compartment of the shuttle.

Five minutes later I was busying myself by checking over phasers when I was spun around and pinned to the wall. I glared at him, not bothering to fight. He was always stronger.

"It is good to see you." He whispered, closing his eyes and leaning against my forehead. I was fighting, trying to remain calm, but I was betrayed as my shoulders shook and I started to cry. He blinked his eyes open in shock, releasing me as I slid down the wall and started to sob.

"What did you do?" Spock said, walking past him and kneeling in front of me. He shot Khan a glare and shook his head. "I told you to leave him alone."

"Spock, I just wanted-."

"Just because I understand the logic behind your actions does not mean I approve of them. You still lied, and you still hurt us." Spock said, calm despite the roaring emotions coming through the bonds.

"Captain-."

"You should go." Spock interrupted, turning back to me.

_I didn't lie when I said Always and forever._ We tensed at the voice in our heads and looked up at him. He smiled slightly before rubbing the right side of his jaw.

"Though I am regretting the ring." He mused, chuckling. I blinked, looking down at the silver band on my ring finger. Slowly, I pulled it off, examining it closer before glaring up at Khan.

"Then by all means, take back your lies." I growled, throwing the ring at him. He caught it almost by reflex, blinking in surprise before pain burst through the bond. But I blocked it off as he quietly left the back room.

Immediately, I regretted it, my finger feeling empty.

"That was wrong." Spock whispered. Looking at me sadly. "He may have lied and hurt us, but it was to protect us. You took me back when I did the same thing. You shouldn't be so hard on him. He is still our T'hy'la, And I still love him."

And with that, Spock stormed out of the room as well, leaving me alone and empty.

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><p><strong>I see that mister Angst is back, but can you blame him? I couldn't live without Khan and it was always my intention that he never died. But, for what reason did he fake his death? Tune in to the next chapter, will post soon! Thanks for reading, please leave a review, love you all!<strong>


	4. Sail

**Hey everyone! Sorry that I've been taking so long to update, it's been really busy! Just got a job as a bartender, so I sleep most of the time now xD**

**Anyways, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has favorited and followed the story so far and a special thank you to allyct160, A. , Biku-sensei-sez-meow, princessQ04 and GeekCentral413 for your reviews! You make me really happy!**

**GeekCentral413, I'm really glad you are enjoying the story, sorry for the emotional roller coaster! **

**On with the story! The song for this chapter is Sail by Awolnation**

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><p>Chapter Four<p>

"Captain, we are approaching the Enterprise." Spock said. I could feel he was still upset with me through the bond, but what did he expect of me? I can't just pretend that Khan didn't lie to us!

"Alright, Spock and Uhura, go to your stations. Farris, go to the med bay and alert Bones that we are here. I'll stay with Khan and figure out how to get him to med bay without anyone seeing him." I said, rubbing the bridge of my nose. If Spock were a cat, his fur would be standing straight up.

"Captain, I do not think it would be wise to-."

"Non-negotiable orders, Commander." I said, cutting him off. I didn't want to hear it right now.

"Yes sir." Spock said, his voice cold as stone. Uhura stared between us while Khan just sat there, his arms on his legs, hands clasped together and his head down. I felt a twinge of regret and sighed, running a hand through my hair.

Soon, we were in the Enterprise and everyone had left, leaving me alone with Khan. I stared at him for a few seconds before sitting down next to him.

Instantly, he stiffened and I looked at his hands, noticing my ring in his hand. I blinked before sighing and holding out my hand palm up. My finger felt empty…

"Captain?" He enquired, finally looking up and blinking at me.

"Give it back." I whispered.

"Why?" He asked skeptically. "So you can throw at me? I've done some cold things, Captain, but none seem as cold as what you did."

I cringed, staring at him until it turned in to a glare.

"That's not nearly as cold as faking your own death and destroying the men who _love_ you?" I growled. It was his turn to cringe and he closed his eyes.

"May I please explain my reasons?" He whispered, gently placing the ring in my palm. I slipped it on my finger and he grabbed my hand, playing with my fingers idly.

"Okay. Explain. If you have a good reason then… Then maybe we can talk." I said. I couldn't be unreasonable. I… I loved this man despite everything.

"Tell me, James, would you have gone on this five year mission if I were with you?" He asked, lacing his fingers with mine. I hesitated before gripping his hand tightly.

"I.. Maybe! I don't know, I could have snuck you aboard." I said, sighing.

"No. The answer is no. This is your dream, the one mission you desperately wanted. If I were with you and Spock, you would have either turned it down to stay with me, or attempted to bring me with you. And if you got caught with me, you would be imprisoned. Both of you. Can you see why I did what I did?" He sighed, placing his fingers under my chin and making me look at him. "You can be mad at me for faking my death, but don't be mad at me for not wanting to keep you from your dream."

"Alright, I understand. Doesn't mean I forgive you." I said quietly, unconsciously leaning forward and licking my lips. It was unintentional, but the way his eyes darted down and followed the movement of my tongue was too much and I leaned forward more.

"May I…" He trailed off, swallowing hard and I gave him a quick nod before he was kissing me gently. His hand was on the back of my head, holding me close while I sighed and relaxed against him.

"Son of a bitch!" Bones yelled. "Really? You couldn't wait until you knew I was gone? Spock, you would think you knew… Better…" His sentence trailed off as we pulled apart and he stared.

"Bones, we need to get him to med bay without anyone seeing." I said, his staring starting to freak me out.

"Oh hell no. Obviously he is uninjured and _alive_," he glared at that. "And there are too many people in med bay. We'll be caught for sure."

"Then… I guess, my quarters." I said, shrugging. I couldn't think of anywhere else. Bones stalked forward, still glaring.

"What the hell is your damn problem? Do you know what they went through? It took them until _Christmas_ to finally start being happy again! Though I don't know why Christmas…" He trailed off, staring at Khan's left hand.

"What?" I asked.

"You and Spock didn't give each other the rings, Khan did." He said, folding his arms and blinking. "That's why you seemed better at Christmas, cause you found the rings."

"Yeah? So?" I said. "What does any of this have to do with getting him to my room?"

"My point is why the hell are you doing kissing and holding hands after what he did to you, Jim!" He yelled, pointing at Khan.

"He had a good reason! Doesn't mean I forgive him. Does _not _mean we are back together. Will you help me or not?" I said, wondering what got him so grumpy.

"Yeah, I'll help you, but I better not lose my job over this." He snapped.

"What has crawled up your ass?" I yelled, getting to my feet and reluctantly letting go of Khan's hand. I couldn't let him crawl back in to my life just like that. I missed him, so damn much, but I can't ignore how much pain he put me through.

"Carol broke up with me!" He screamed back. I blinked, frowning.

"Sorry, I… Why?" I asked, scratching the back of my head. They were so happy.

"Because she didn't like the risk. You know, the new rule. No relationships between crew members." He said, sighing and sitting down.

"Listen, I'm going to talk to the Admirality. They have to listen to reason, this is a five year mission, they can't expect relationships not to happen." I said, shaking my head. "I'll get them to drop it."

He nodded, sighing before standing back up again.

"Well, there is my device." Khan said, smirking when I stared at him incredulously.

"Really, couldn't have said anything sooner?" I grumbled. "That's the second time you have failed to mention that infernal device."

He raised an eyebrow before standing up with a smirk.

"Did you just use the word infernal?" He asked, a laugh in his voice. I felt my face heat up and glared.

"Yeah, I did, so what?"

"No, no, he might have a point with this one Jimbo." Bones said, coughing to hide a laugh before his eyes went wide. "What the hell did you do to your hand?"

"Beat the shit out of Khan." I said sheepishly.

"It's true, I already healed." He said, not looking up from programming.

"Alright, the second he's quarantined in your quarters, you're going to med bay with me." Bones growled.

"Uh, I have some calls to make about relationships?" I squeeked, ducking behind Khan. He looked over his shoulder at me and I realized I was cuddling in to his back.

"I missed you." He whispered, smiling softly. And just like that everything came back and I huffed, pulling away and crossing my arms.

"Is that thing ready?" I asked quietly. He sighed, nodding and I pulled a grumbling Bone over. He pressed a button and the familiar light surrounded us. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I was in my room.

"Alright, you are not to leave this room." I said, giving him a hard look. "I will come check on you after."

"Thank you… Captain." He said, turning away and freezing, staring at his jacket on my bedpost.

"Let's go Jim." Bones said, grabbing my arm. I blinked, nodding before following him out of the room.

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><p>"You have a couple of broken fingers but you should be fine." He grumbled as he finished wrapping up my hand.<p>

"Thanks." I said.

"You're not going to forgive him just like that, are you?" He asked, not looking at me.

"No, I'm still royally pissed off with him, Bones. I'm not going to just let it slide, it's not like he lied and broke up with us, he faked his own death!" I said with a sigh.

"Good, just don't want you to let him off easy." He said, nodding.

"Captain, may I speak with you?" Ash said, looking uncomfortable.

"You can talk in front of Bones." I said, standing up and eyeing her warily.

"I wanted to apologize for what Pen did." She said, looking away.

"Who's Pen?" Bones asked.

"Her split personality." I said, then I remembered something and laughed slightly. "Oh, and may I introduce your assistant, who forged her way on board and also happens to be Khan's sister."

"What?" Bones yelled, staring at her. She shrank and gave me a look of betrayal, but Bones had a right to know.

"I'm sorry Doctor McCoy, the last person to see my brother was the Captain and I needed to know what happened to him." She rambled, backing away.

"Oh no, no, you do not get to back away, you are going to get over here, sit on that bed, and I'm going to give you a hypo for your split personality. Unless she isn't dangerous."

"She's dangerous." Me and Spock, who was walking in to the med bay, said at the same time. I smiled softly and him and he looked away, ignoring me.

"You…. Can get rid of Pen?" She asked, hoping lighting up her eyes.

"Yes, we can, where have you been, under a rock?" Bones said, staring at her incredulously.

"No, she's been frozen, Doctor." Spock clarified. Bones blinked and I could tell he was fighting off the urge to say something, but instead he just dragged Ash off.

"Go check on Khan and make that call." He said.

"Will do!" I yelled.

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><p>"Are you still mad at me?" I asked when we had been walking in silence for five minutes.<p>

"Yes." He said simply. I wrapped my hand in his and he tensed, pulling away before looking down and seeing my ring.

"Doesn't mean I forgive him." I whisper.

"Neither do I." He said, pulling me past my quarters and in to his, hugging me close. I clung to him, burying my head in his neck.

"I love you." I said, kissing his cheek.

"And I you." He responding, kissing my lips gently before looking at the bathroom door.

"Shall we?" I asked, smiling.

"Indeed." He muttered before giving me a small smile back.

"Alright, let's go deal with Khan."


	5. Love Me Again

**Hello everybody! I would like to thank GeekCentral413 for the review! Sherlock happens to be one of my favorite shows ^.^ **

**Alright, the song for this chapter is Love Me Again by John Newman!**

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><p>Chapter Five – Love Me Again<p>

We stopped at the door and I took a stabling breath before Spock gently squeezed my hand and let it go. I looked at him in confusion and he let his composure fall until he was left bare and weak in front of me.

"I don't know if I'm ready to face him yet, and someone should go relieve Sulu of command and take over. It is only logical now that we are back that one of us is on the bridge." He explained.

"Then in that case, it's only logical that it be me since I am the captain!" I said. Truthfully, though I understood, I wasn't ready to go back either.

"Jim, the doctor has requested you be placed on immediate bed rest. Therefore you should heed his advice." He said, smirking. I glared at him. Fucking pointy ass bastard and his cleverness.

"He'd sign off on it too, the bastard." I grumbled, looking at my door.

"I will be back if you need me. Just call." He whispered, discreetly slipping his fingers along mine before taking off down the hall. I shook my head, grumbling and growling as I opened the door and entered the room. I froze, staring at the center of my quarters, specifically, at my bed.

Khan laid on top of the blankets, his face scrunched up as though he were in pain. Slowly, I approached the bed, watching as he didn't even flinch when I sat next to his still form. Without even thinking, my hand smoothed his cheek, watching as it relaxed. How could I think I could just forget everything, the good, the fucking horrible…

Then his eyes opened slowly, locking on to mine and it was like I couldn't breathe. Like my heart had restarted all over again. But I was so unbelievably pissed off still and all that bubbled to the surface once more. How could he fucking do this to us?

I started to rise from the bed but Khan grabbed on to me, flipping me on to my back and straddling me so that he held me down while I struggled to no avail.

"Hear me out again." He growled, between clenched teeth. I stopped struggling, looking up to his eyes before looking away, my fury rising still.

"Do I have a choice?" I muttered. Suddenly, he let me go, but stayed sitting on me.

"I took away your choice once, it is not my intention to do it again." He whispered, gently turning me to face him.

"Would you have left for this five year voyage if I were with you?" He asked again. I blinked in surprise, why was he asking _again_. But the answer was still the same. No, no I wouldn't have. "That's what I thought. This was your dream, I would not stand in the way, nor would I get you caught and thrown in jail."

The murders sprang to mind and I swallowed heavily. I had forgiven this man for so many things… Horrible things.

"You've forgiven me for murder. For rape." He whispered, as though he heard my thoughts, leaning down closer to me. "Why can't you forgive me for trying to make your dreams a reality?"

I gulped, a sob wrenching through me as I grabbed on to his shirt and pulling him down for a kiss. My hands knotted in to his hair, kissing him passionately while I cried, unsure of what I was doing.

"You promised." I whispered, closing my eyes as his forehead rested against mine.

"I know Jim, I know. And I'm sorry that I broke it but I won't leave again. Just please, take me back." He whispered, grabbing my left hand. I gulped, thinking of what Spock said so long ago.

"I thought only people in a relationship kiss, was my intention unclear?" I whispered. He starting playing with the ring on my finger, then bit down on my neck as I cried out.

"Let me in." He whispered, pulling me up and in to a sitting position, his hand slipping down my pants.

_Ashaya, need you…_ I whispered, moaning and holding Khan to me as he stroked me to life, my head thrown backwards. Khan smiled, showing teeth as he flipped me around to face the door, one arm hugging me close while the other undid my pants.

"I missed you so god damn much." Khan growled, kissing my neck as my door slid open and shut. I met Spock's eyes, reaching my arm out for him. He was there in an instant, entwining his fingers in mine before locking his lips with Khan.

"Don't get me wrong… ah!" I moaned out, throwing my head on to Khan's shoulder as Spock bit down on my neck. "I'm still very mad at you."

"As am I." Spock growled, ripping my shirt off. Literally. I stared at him in shock and he ripped the remainder of it off.

"Spock! That was my uniform shirt!" I protested.

"We'll get you another one." He growled, kissing me so roughly that I think my lips might bruise. Khan pulled my pants and boxers down, freeing me as I cried out, breaking the kiss.

"Make love to me, now, please." I groaned as Spock grabbed the bottle of lube from the end table.

"No need to beg, love." Khan whispered in my ear, pulling me back more and pushing me down so I was on my hands and knees. I looked up at Spock as I undid his pants, groaning as Khan teased me.

"Ashaya…?" I whispered, unsure as to why he looked upset. He raised an eyebrow at me before wrapping his fingers in my hair. I moaned, grabbing a hold of him and slipping him in to my mouth as Khan slowly pushed inside of me. There was a chirping but I ignored it, caressing Spock with my tongue while his hand pushed the back of my head.

"Answer the door, or I'm coming in and you probably don't want me to. Doctor McCoy gave me the medical override." Ashter's voice said through the call box. Khan groaned, falling against my back and reaching past me to my comm.

"Do you want to see me like this, Ash?" He groaned in to my comm, making me blush as I sucked on to Spock, making him gasp.

"Okay, didn't know you were in there, so if you don't answer in fifteen I'm using that code." She grumbled, signing off. I almost asked why she let it go so quickly, but Khan had taken hold of Spock, pushing him more fully in to my mouth as they kissed, causing me to moan around him.

"Hold on, Love, almost there." Khan whispered, grabbing hold of my hips.

"Jim…" Spock groaned, pulling away and making me protest. He took himself in hand, pressing the other to my meld points and echoing his pleasure. His tongue slipped in to my mouth and it was too much. I came hard, groaning as Khan stilled, his hands shuddering against me before pulling out.

"We should get dressed." Spock muttered, releasing me and grabbing my torn shirt and using it as a cloth.

"What is it with you and doing that?" I grumbled, kissing him as he laughed.

"It's convenient." He muttered as I slipped off the bed and gathered up the sheets, throwing them in the chute.

"I should leave before she gets back." Khan said, grabbing his leather trench and slipping it on.

"Who said you could have that back." I grumbled, slipping a pair of pants on and sitting on the mattress, pulling him down beside me. "And you can't wander the ship."

"Am I your prisoner now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Spock pounced him, pinning him down while I laughed.

"I could tie you up." He growled. I blushed, trying to hide my moan when the door chirped again.

"No way is it fifteen minutes!" I yelled, throwing a shoe at the door.

"Oh, blow it out your shorts, I need to see Khan." Ashter said, opening the door as I flopped back on the bed, Spock rolling off of Khan.

"Make yourself at home." I said, rolling my eyes.

"I believe an explanation is in order." Spock muttered. He was very quiet today.

"And I believe that I don't give a shit." She growled, not taking her eyes off Khan, who was staring at the ceiling.

"How may I help you?" He said quietly, shutting his eyes.

"You son of a bitch."

"That's an impolite thing to say."

"I don't give a damn, Khan! Three hundred years!" She screamed, kicking his foot. He didn't so much as flinch. But I sat up rather quickly.

"Woah, you're part of his crew!" I said, clicking in. She sneered at me, seemingly different from the nice woman she was earlier. Then I remember… Does that mean the shot hasn't taken effect yet?

"Name's Penn," She looked over at Spock, who had sat up when I did. "Yeah, you thought it was my last name earlier huh? Nope."

"Penn is her split personality." Khan explained with a tired sigh. "I tried Penn, now let me speak to Ash."

"I'm not fucking done with you yet." She growled, going to reach over and grab him. Spock had her in his arms as she struggled.

"Let her go." Khan growled. "Trust me."

Spock looked hesitant, then released her. She glared at him then laughed, turning back around and punching me in the face. Khan was up in an instant, pulling her in to his lap and pinning her wrists together in front of her, stroking her hair with the other hand. His eyes were closed, his face pressed in to her neck as though he were sniffing her hair.

"Don't do that Penn, he means a lot to me. They both do." He muttered. It was like he was scolding a playful kitten. Meanwhile, my nose was dripping blood on to my bare chest. I groaned, covering my broken nose.

"Why the fuck did you hit _me_?" I asked, sitting up while Spock eyed… Penn carefully.

"Cause it was like killing two birds with one stone. I got Spock back for grabbing me and made Khan pay attention."

"What is your last name?" Spock asked slowly, narrowing his eyes.

"None of your beeswax." She said with a giggle, kicking Kahn in the shin with her heel. He stopped stroking her hair and grabbed her throat gently.

"Stop kicking me." He growled. She giggled again, a dark and kind of creepy sound.

"Please, you wouldn't hurt me! You'd be hurting poor little Ashter, who cried and cried when mommy and daddy's bodies were dead around her and their blood was on her hands." She laughed when he threw her off of him and in to Spock, who caught her instantly and held her back. Images popped in to my mind of waking up with blood all over me and I jumped up and proceeded to throw up what little I had had.

"I'm sure Ash would forgive me if I hit you." He growled, turning away and handing me a cloth. I nodded to him and he frowned.

"Ooooh I get it! I get it now!" She cried out, looking like a little kid who just won something shiny. "You did that to him, didn't you? Wait till Ashy finds out that you're no better than me."

"Answer Spock's question." Khan whispered, looking at her. If looks could kill…

"Which question?" She sang out.

"Tell him your last name!" He yelled, fuming as he got in her face.

"Singh." She growled, all but spitting the word in his face. Spock released her instantly and I pulled myself to my feet. All I could do was stare at the pale skin, the jaw. I thought she was covering up when she said that Khan was her brother earlier, that's why I told Bones, so he would let her stay…

"Penn, release my little sister." Khan growled.

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><p><strong>Alright, there ya go! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review!<strong>


	6. Blood Lip

**I'm really sorry, this is long overdue! But I will be updating more frequently, not just on this story, now that I have a laptop again. I would have updated sooner, but all my files were on the busted laptop and I had t get an adapter to transfer them . Thank you to everyone who have favorited, followed and reviewed! It makes me really happy that you like it! The song for this chapter is Blood Lip by Veela, go check it out, she has an awesome voice :) With out further ado, the chapter!**

Chapter Six

"Alright, so not only is she your crew member, she's your little _sister_! I… I know she said that but I guess I thought it was like you saying your crew is your family!" I yelled, throwing my hands up and going to the bathroom to grab my tooth brush.

"Oh boy, it happened again, didn't it?" A soft voice asked, sweeter, not as harsh as the other.

"Yes." Khan said simply.

"Khan-."

"You should leave, Ash." He said, his back to her when I came out of the bathroom, brushing my teeth. The mint was already working the magic of overpowering the taste of vomit.

"I see no logical reason why she should leave, Khan." Spock said, raising an eyebrow and pinning him with a glare. Khan threw his hands up and turned to me.

"I agree." I said around my tooth brush.

"Do you have Penn in control?" Khan asked, glaring at her. The man who was stroking her hair only moments before was gone.

"No. Never. You know that." She said in confusion, tilting her head.

"Then you need to leave."

"Let the woman make her own decisions." I said, turning and spitting in the sink before walking over to step between her and… her brother.

"Move, she could kill you in an instant." He growled.

"Oh? I don't think you have room to talk." I shot back, reaching in to my pocket and pulling out the silver knife. He looked startled a moment before reaching for it, I took it away quickly and put it back in my pocket.

"How do you keep getting that?" He asked quietly, brows furrowing. Honestly, I didn't know either, but that could be helpful in a fight.

"Doesn't matter. You used me to kill people that you found less superior. You almost killed my entire crew. You actually did manage to kill me." I said, putting my arms out. "You have something against her being here, it's my room, it's my ship, so you have to go through me."

"I must ask, why are you being so protective of _my_ little sister?" His eyes narrowed and he moved forward.

"ENOUGH!" She yelled. "Stop banging your chests okay, I'm not going anywhere until you speak to me Khan. I thought you said after we were exiled that you would stop killing!"

"They took the crew away from me!" He yelled, pushing me aside none too gently.

"Why don't you show how you truly feel towards me!" She said, shoving him.

"You may be my little sister, but every time I look at you, all I see if the girl who _murdered_ our parents." He growled. She flinched back and Spock stepped between them this time.

"That was unnesisary as she is not the one who killed your parents, Penn did." He said, looking completely calm.

"Step aside, Commander." Spock raised an eyebrow at the order but didn't move. Khan went to grab him and I sprang up, punching him in face before shoving him to the ground, pinning him.

"Don't touch him." His eyes closed for a second and when they opened they seemed sad.

"I didn't mean to lose my temper or hurt any of you." He said quietly. I got up, going over to Ashter who was holding herself against the wall.

"Are you alright?" I said, smiling at her softly as she looked at me in surprise.

"You don't think I'm a monster." She whispered. Right now, she looked the exact opposite of a monster. She looked like a sad woman whose only family just told her she meant shit to him.

"I've been exactly where you are and I thought my friends would hate me." I tucked her long hair behind her ear and she blinked. "But they understood it wasn't me. So until Khan realizes that, just don't take anything he says to heart."

"Thank you." She muttered, looking like she was going to cry. "I'm sorry I forged my way on board, but I really am a med bay ensign. I was on his ship." She nodded behind me.

"Captain, I will see you tomorrow when our shift starts." Spock said, nodding to me and folding his hands behind his back.

"Woah, okay, major change. Why will you not be coming back here?" I asked, staring at him incredulously.

"I do not wish to discuss this right now Captain."

"Stop calling me that." I growled. Why was he being so cold to me all of a sudden?

"Please move, I do not wish to force myself past you but I will if I must."

"Talk to me!"

"I do not wish to be in the same room as him, and seeing as he is apparently staying here, I will not be." I blinked and watched as Khan collapsed on my bed, his face in his hands.

"Can we go to your quarters and discuss this please. If it really is a problem, I'll stay there tonight." I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Captain, I need to go attend to my duties."

"Are you breaking up with me?" I finally yelled, tired of dancing around the subject. Spock sighed, closing his eyes. I didn't care if I was turning in to that same angsty man I was when we first got together, his shutting me out was killing me!

"Let's go speak in my quarters." He whispered. My stomach clenched and I felt like I was going to puke again.

"Can you watch him?" I choked out.

"Of course." Ash whispered.

We walked silently in to his quarters, which were right next to mine. We said nothing for several minutes, until a sob wrenched itself through me and Spock flinched.

"T'hy'la, I never said I was breaking up with you, please do not cry. I am simply mad at Khan for not telling us about his sibling earlier, as well as I do not know why, but I felt jealous that you were bottoming for someone else." I continued to cry, I'm pretty sure from relief, when his arms came around me and he kissed my head.

"Don't scare me like that ever." I said, nuzzling him.

"It was not my intention." He whispered. "You do not need to choose T'hy'la, I am not asking you too."

"But… I just got him back… I don't want to lose you."

"You aren't losing me, Jim, I just simply do not wish to spend a night with him yet." He explained, kissing my nose.

"I'm sure he thinks he's losing you." I muttered, finally calming down. He paused for a moment before kissing me gently.

"Go, explain to him for me. He is not losing me and neither are you, but I must attend to my duties." I nodded and he kissed me one last time before leaving the room.

I entered my room through the linked bathroom, nodding at Ash who was still at the door.

"Khan." I said stiffly, walking over until I was in front of him. "Look at me."

He ignored me, even fought when I tried to take his damn hands away from his face. I rolled my eyes, getting on my knees and nuzzling my way through his arms until I was hugging him, sighing contently on his chest. He stiffened for a moment before slowly returning the hug.

"Neither of us are leaving you, Spock just needs a little time and space." I explained, nuzzling him again.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"I'm not who you need to apologize to." I said, pulling away and smiling sadly at him.

"Ash, please come here." Khan said softly, looking ashamed of himself. I moved out of the way and she pounced in to him. He smoothed her hair back and out of his face.

"What I should have said was I did all of that to get you back, because they took you from me. Sorry, I lost my temper, I took it out on you." He said, hugging her close.

"Why were you protecting me? I broke your nose." She whispered, tilting her head. She looked like a wild child, her hair mussed up. I swallowed, looking away from her and rubbing the back of my head. She got up, approaching me slowly, almost like a large cat.

"I forgot about that, I should go see Bones, he's going to kill me."

"Dump the losers, come chill with me. You know what it's like." She said with a giggle, throwing an arm around my neck while the other one…

"Okay! Nope, I am dating Ash's brother, Penn." I said, gently grabbing her shoulders while she pouted, then went bright red.

"Sorry!" Ash yelled, immediately spinning to look at Khan… who looked amused.

"He said no, it's fine." He shrugged.

"I'm going to go see Bones." I said, grabbing a shirt and gingerly putting it over my head.

"I'm going too, might as well." Ash sighed, trying to smooth her hair in place.

"I'll stay here, I can't be seen by the other crew members." Khan said, lying back on the bed. I stalked over to him and bent down, giving him a quick kiss.

"Love you." I whispered.

"And I you."

**Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think by reviewing!**


	7. Lights

**Hey everyone! I'm really sorry that it took so long to post this chapter! I've started working night shifts, so I'm practically always tired or sleeping. A big thank you to catiilee92 for the review and anyone who has favourited and followed! The song for this chapter is LIghts by Ellie Goulding :) Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Seven

"What the hell happened to you?" Bones yelled the second I walked in to med bay. I looked sheepishly at him before jerking my thumb at Ash.

"Sorry." She squeaked. He blinked at her, then looked back at me.

"Please tell me you didn't and if you did, please tell me Spock knows." Bones sighed, grabbing the bridge of his nose. I scrunched my face up in confusion before it dawned on me.

"No! No we did not! You see…." I trailed off, looking at Ash for help.

"My split personality, Penn, she's a little…. Violent." She said, frowning and looking away.'

"Right, speaking of, why didn't you get that treated before now? There are hypo's to hold back split personalities, you know. Like the one I injected you with earlier." He said, looking at her incredulously. She looked startled for a moment and I jumped in.

"Bones. She's been a popsicle for three hundred years, remember?" I pointed out, looking at him like he was stupid. He disappeared for a moment, coming back and jabbing her in the neck with another hypo.

"Ow!" She protested, rubbing it.

"Yeah, they fucking suck don't they." I said, snickering before Bones jabbed me with one, ending my amusement.

"Come back every morning for a hypo. And you can stay on board as my assistant. We didn't get to have that talk when he told me you forged your way on to the ship." He grumbled.

"Everything alright Bones? I'm going to make the call as soon as I get back to my quarters." I said, watching as he prepared to set my nose. He's had to do this for me so often, I wondered if he could do it in his sleep.

"Carol's been busy ever since we left so I haven't seen her much. I knew she was going to break up with me. I could feel it. She said something earlier about it being too much strain, having to juggle all her responsibilities and a relationship. Then she brought up the rules of dating on board."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" I asked, frowning.

"Oh, hell no." He said, slapping my shoulder. "You're good to go."

"Alright, I guess I'll head back to my quarters." I mumbled.

"You, let's get to work." He said, pointing at Ash. I waved good bye and she nodded, mouthing thank you before turning away.

"So, I've got good news." I said, smiling at Khan as I entered the room. He had rehung his Jacket on the bed post and was sprawled out in his pants on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"And what is that?" He asked, rolling over to face me as I discarded my shirt.

"Bones' has a hypo to repress split personalities. Looks like Penn won't be able to hurt your sister anymore." I said with a grin, leaning against the bed. His eyes softened and he smiled up at me.

"I'm amused that you are so taken by my little sister." He said, reaching out and pulling me over on top of him. I laid my head on his chest with a sigh. It was barely past lunch and I was already exhausted. There had already been a lot more excitement than I was used to while aboard the Enterprise and I smiled, sighing contently. I was supposed to be calling the admiralty but it could wait, just long enough for me to have a nap.

"I missed you so much." I whispered, tracing his chest.

"As I missed you, I wasn't trying to cause you pain, only trying to make things easier on you and Spock."

"When did you know you loved me?" I asked, looking up and kissing his throat.

"When he left you and you were broken. I realized that it hurt very much to see you like that, and that's when I decided I wanted you to be with me instead." He said softly, running his hand along my back.

"And what about Spock?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me today. He chuckled, kissing my head.

"When he told you it was okay to kiss me, I saw him in a different light. I thought maybe it was just companionship, but then he kissed me and my insides tightened the same way they did when you kissed me."

"Well, I love you. I even held your guts in for you." I said, making a face while he shook with laughter.

"I love you too and I would probably inject you with my blood instead."

"Can we take a nap?" I asked, yawning and holding him close. It felt nice to be able to do this again.

"Of course." He whispered, kissing my hair. "I'm never letting you go."

I awoke to the pressure of somebody laying on the bed in front of me. At first I thought it was Khan but then I felt his arms around my waist and his head tucked against my neck. I slowly opened my eyes, blinking at Spock, who was frowning.

"I did not mean to wake you." He muttered, snuggling in to me. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing his cheeks.

"Thought you wanted to be alone tonight?" I asked quietly.

"After trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep, I decided I cannot sleep alone and that I'm being… immature about the situation. So I came in here to sleep where I belong."

"Good." Khan grumbled, reaching his arm over me and placing it lightly on Spock's skin.

"You are… Forgiven." Spock said, letting his arm rest on Khan's.

"We've been sleeping all day, how am I still tired." I complained, closing my eyes and snuggling in to my pillow.

There was a knock on the door and I sprang up, staring at it like it was a demon.

"Lights dim. Door unlock." I said. No one knocked on the door unless there was a problem. It swooshed open, revealing Ash in a black tank top, a long black skirt and a glossy black trench coat like her brothers. She was holding a hand up to her chest where there was blood slowing dripping down to her naked stomach.

"What the hell, get in here!" I whispered loudly, springing up from the bed and rushing to her.

"It's fine, it's mine, no one else's." She whispered, looking dizzy.

"Door close, lights on." I said, Khan and Spock both mumbling in protest. There were deep scores in her chest, like she had….

"You cut yourself, why?" I asked, moving her hand away.

"I didn't, Penn did." She said, her eyes glazed over as she swayed. I swore, grabbing on to her and smearing blood across my chest.

"Spock!" I yelled out.

"Already on it." He said. "Dr. McCoy, you are needed in Jim's quarters, it's your assistant. Her split personality has harmed her."

"Jesus, I'm on my way."

"Ash." Khan was beside us, looking at his sister as she loosely gripped my arms. Her full body weight had pressed down only a moment ago.

"Is she conscious?" I asked, gingerly holding her.

"Her eyes are closed and she is breathing deeply, I do not believe so. She should heal shortly, but possibly not soon enough if your doctor can't heal her."

"I'm here, Jesus Christ, what happened?" He said, gripping her arms and lowering her to the floor.

"I don't know, she appeared at my door and told me that Penn did it. I thought you gave her a hypo?"

"Yeah, but it takes a day or two to take effect. If it were instantaneous, that would be a break through." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have let her leave supervision."

Khan kneeled down beside him, brushing his sister's hair out of the way.

"She will heal and replace her own blood quickly, but we need to stop the bleeding." Khan said, looking at Bones.

"Alright, you two clear out, I need to take her shirt off. Khan, you can stay if you're comfortable." Bones ordered, glaring at me and Spock. I looked at Khan and he nodded.

"I'll get you as soon as she is stable." He said quietly. I grabbed Spock's hand and headed for the bathroom.

The second I closed the door I was grabbing a cloth and cleaning the blood off.

"Haven't done this in a while." I muttered.

"I believe that that is a good thing, Captain." Spock said with a wry smile.

"Stop it!" I protested, smacking him lightly.

"Habit." He muttered, cuddling against me.

"What the hell, Jim?" Bones was yelling, his hands gripping my shoulders tightly. I blinked a couple times before looking over at Spock. He had a hand covering his bleeding nose while he stared at me in pure shock. He was sitting in the shower like he had fallen there.

"Fuck, you okay? What happened?" I said, struggling to get out of Bones' grip. He shook me and I glared at him.

"_You_ punched him." He growled, looking at me suspiciously. I gulped, feeling my legs give out as Khan opened the door.

"I…. Don't understand. Last thing I remember is him putting his arms around me while I cleaned off blood…"

"This is my fault." Khan whispered, looking at the floor. I shook my head, closing my eyes and holding back tears.

"Let me go Bones. Just…. Let me go." I whispered. He complied and I sank to the floor, running a hand shakily through my hair.

"T'hy'la, it's alright, we'll figure this out."

"The hell it is, I hit you Spock!" I yelled back. My comm started going off and I unsteadily got to my feet, retrieving it.

"Captain… It's the Admiralty, they want to speak to you." Uhura said tensely. I gulped, closing my eyes.

"Which room?" I whispered, looking over at Khan, who was helping Spock up.

"Conference room 3." She said. "I don't know what they want, they didn't tell me."

"Alright… I'll be there soon." I whispered, hanging up.


End file.
